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Pro-Russian Ukranians hold ‘unofficial’ Eurovision vote
Russian twins The Tolmachevy Sisters have won a landslide victory in the Eurovision Song Contest according to an unofficial poll which took place in areas held by Pro-Russian demonstrators in Eastern...
View ArticleCameron and Hague relearning foreign policy by playing Risk
The Prime Minister and Foreign Secretary, having been caught flat-footed by recent geopolitical changes almost everywhere, have embarked on a marathon game of Risk to try and understand it all. ‘They...
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Hague admits quitting as Foreign Secretary ‘to avoid World War 3′
As passenger airlines are shot down, the Middle-East descends into even greater chaos and American Idol enters its 13th season – all the portents are shaping up nicely for a global Armageddon. Against...
View ArticleLifetime Presidency ‘too short’ claims Putin
After two stints as President, two as Prime Minister and now another as President, Vladimir Putin is still unable to justify stepping down in the foreseeable future when there’s ‘so much more to do’,...
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Vladimir Putin launches winter knitwear collection
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin yesterday took a break from running the country to unveil his new ‘Sovereign Democracy’ winter knitwear range. The collection, exclusively designed by the former...
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Russian Bombers to offer cut price flights to and from the UK
In a move, aggressively resisted by the RAF, the Russian Federation Air Force (Voyenno-Vozdushnye, Silly Rossii or ‘VVS’ for short) has attempted to muscle in on the lucrative budget air routes...
View ArticleCameron promises Cornish holiday stand-off with Russians
David Cameron has made it clear he will not back down over Russian threats to his annual Cornish holiday. Referring to last week’s encroachment by Russian fighters on airspace along the coast of...
View ArticlePutin sends topless pics in bid to woo Greece
President of Russia Vladimir Putin has stepped up his campaign to get Greece away from the European Union by dropping 10 million photocopied pictures of himself posing atop a big white horse onto the...
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Putin –‘probably the best murderer in the world’
‘If Heineken planned murders, this would ‘probably’ be the best murderer in the world’ runs the new ad, which shows President Putin holding a pint of lager in one hand and a phial of plutonium in the...
View ArticleInvestigation into Putin halted after he denies everything
Forensic accountants around the world are breathing a sigh of relief after Putin said that the overwhelming evidence that he was receiving laundered money was fabricated to show him in a bad light...
View Article‘It’s getting too easy now’ claims Corbyn
With an ever increasing torrent of Tory gaffs, the Leader of the Opposition is now contemplating dropping out of front-line politics in preference for a more challenging career. Privately Mr. Corbyn...
View ArticleRussia given suspended sentence over invasion of Ukraine
Russia has been warned that if invades any more countries, it could face suspension from the European football championship, or at the very least, be forced to play a match behind closed doors. A UEFA...
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Hague admits quitting as Foreign Secretary ‘to avoid World War 3′
As passenger airlines are shot down, the Middle-East descends into even greater chaos and American Idol enters its 13th season – all the portents are shaping up nicely for a global Armageddon. Against...
View ArticlePutin ‘has never phoned Trump much’
Vladimir Putin has stated that he has never had telephone conversations with Donald Trump, or any communications whatsoever, between certain dates and times. He added, that apart from the golden...
View ArticleTrump: Putin never interfered with me – it was all consensual
Speaking to reporters in Hanoi Mr Trump said: ‘When I said yesterday I believed that Mr Putin didn’t meddle in our election, well not unless he actually did, in which case I also believe him too, then...
View ArticleRussian/UK double agents ‘not sure if they should move’
Double agents in Russia and the UK are urgently trying to clarify their position with their respective minders. Dmitri Beloglazov AKA Dave Whitlaw AKA Mikhael Nikonov AKA Susan Jenkins who is,...
View Article‘Dustbin of history’ to become recycling centre
The UN has decreed that all political doctrines must be fully recyclable by 2020 in order to save global resources. World leaders will henceforth avoid wastage by returning to discarded ideologies...
View ArticlePutin compares Boris Johnson to Boris Johnson
The head of the UK’s diplomacy has helpfully likened Vladimir Putin to Hitler, in a novel attempt to defuse international tension and improve our chances of winning the World Cup. Reaching out with...
View ArticleIslamic State also request sample of deadly nerve agent
The Islamic State group have formally requested a sample of the Novichok nerve agent used in the Sailsbury chemical attack to investigate whether the deadly poison was connected to them in any way....
View ArticleJFK seeks to clarify that he is *not* a Berliner
Footage has just come to light of a press conference in which then-President John F Kennedy seeks to clarify certain remarks he made addressing a public meeting in Berlin. “I thought I made myself...
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